Every Man I Love Is Either Married, Gay, or Dead
July 12, 2004
Browne's fourth training manual for belles gone bad is a Southern-fried delight. It's ostensibly a guide to men, but it doesn't take long for the book's focus to return to the care, feeding, maintenance and revenge secrets of the SPQs. Men (or "spuds") are classified in categories including the platonic "Bud Spud," the beautiful-but-dense "Scud Spud," the shouldn't-wear-bikinis "Pud Spud" and the elusive "Spud Spud" (aka "Mr. Right" or "The One"). Browne is at her laugh-till-it-hurts best detailing her adventures having an eye- and facelift ("I have pretty much adopted plastic surgery as my hobby"), bowling ("There are few things in life... with a cringe-and-gag factor to rival that of putting rented shoes on one's own personal feet") and losing weight (temporarily) with acupuncture ("We would—and have—done anything
to lose weight, except, of course, the obvious one: changing our eating habits"). As usual, there are also mouth-watering recipes for those with steel arteries. One bacon, cheese and cracker concoction advises a cooling off period "for maximum reabsorption of any grease that may have inadvertently escaped during baking." This is a high-caloric treat. Agent, Jenny Bent for Trident Media Group. (Oct. 5)
FYI:
Browne is a hand-sell favorite, her previous three books having sold a collective 1.2 million. Her 19-city author tour will be highly touted on her Web site ( www.sweetpotatoqueens.com
), which has nearly 4,000 registered queens.
September 15, 2004
The Sweet Potato Queens are a group of Southern women of a certain age known for their no-holds-barred approach to life and their no-nonsense brand of advice. Already having tackled love, financial planning, and cooking in previous best-sellers, chief queen Conner Browne returns with this guide to understanding the habits--mating, grooming, and everything in-between--of men. She categorizes the male of the species into eight groups: the Bud Spud, Dud Spud, Crud Spud, Fuddy-Dud Spud, Pud Spud, Blood Spud, Scud Spud, and the ultimate--the Spud Stud. Often it seems like she's re-treading old and tired male stereotypes, but she backs up her generalizations with anecdotal references. These hilarious and often unbelievable real-life snapshots are what separate this book from other male-bashing relationship guides. Perhaps most importantly, Browne reminds women that though good men exist, they're not the key to happiness. At times this field guide reads more like a sales catalog directing readers to the Web site where they can purchase Sweet Potato Queens' merchandise, but that won't deter Browne's legions of devotees. (Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2004, American Library Association.)
Starred review from November 1, 2004
Browne's fourth venture into chronicling Southern belles gone bad shows no signs of exhausting the topic; her reservoir of hilarious advice and empowering stories are still fresh and funny. There are five categories of men "you must have in your life—one to talk to, one to dance with, one who can pay for things, one to have great sex with and one who can fix things." Offering tips on where to find eligible men, Browne suggests Home Depot, bookstores (where she met her new husband, The Cutest Boy in the World), post-funeral feeds and "class reunions after number 25 or so are hot beds of, well, hot beds." As for dating older men, Browne coos, "I've long been a proponent of this concept on account of the opportunity it affords us to be young and cute forever." Although the Queens are best known for their all-purpose problem solver of "The Promise" (of oral sex), equally useful is the sage observation that "No compliment is too outrageous for a man to believe." Browne narrates with an assured, relaxed drawl—she writes exactly as she speaks, making her the perfect raconteur. This is the first time Random has not issued Browne's work unabridged. Obviously, they forgot Mae West's adage, "Too much of a good thing can be wonderful." Simultaneous release with Three Rivers paperback (Forecasts, July 12).